I have often been asked if my husband is romantic. The answer can be left for another time. I posed the same question of myself and discovered to my surprise that I was a lot more pragmatic than romantic. In fact, too pragmatic for my own liking, I think.
It was my husband’s birthday earlier this month. The day was drawing near and still, I had no idea what to do, what gift to buy or where to take him to for his birthday dinner. Thanks to my telecommunications provider, I received a SMS alerting its subscribers of a 1-for-1 dinner promotion in a refurbished hotel. My husband and I thought it’ll make a good venue for his birthday dinner. So we proceeded to make a dinner reservation for our family of four.
It didn’t take me too long before I started entertaining the thought of having the birthday dinner during the school holiday week instead. Why? Our twins are not done at school till 6.30 pm on Thursdays and they will still be clad in their uniforms. Travelling to town for dinner will take quite a while in peak hour traffic. By the time dinner is over and we get home, it will be late and we will likely go to bed later than usual. That is not very inviting considering that we need to start early every weekday morning.
I went as far as to discuss my proposal with my husband and he readily understood and agreed to postpone his birthday dinner for two weeks till the holidays when there will be no rush and we will all be more relaxed.
Just when I thought we were going ahead with my new proposed plan, this question beckoned, “Should I be pragmatic about the birthday plan or can I just be a little more romantic?” It dawned on me right at that very moment that I was becoming too pragmatic. My proposed plan made sense but it would have had a subtle negating effect on the value of our loved ones; in that to celebrate their special day was perhaps not as important as the upkeep of some routine.
I was glad that we went for the birthday dinner as originally planned. We were caught in rush hour traffic, the twins ate while clad in their school uniform, we got home late and the entire family did with less sleep that night. But we conveyed one simple message into each other’s heart: “You are a VIP in our lives and you deserve to be celebrated (especially on your birthday) in a less pragmatic manner.” A little romance will do well here actually! I was that close to falling into the trap of sheer pragmatism which can gradually rob you of deeper emotional connectedness, timely celebrations and intimacy with your loved ones.