“Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad.” – Anne Geddes.
I cannot agree more. Having grown up in a dysfunctional family where my father was the source of most conflicts at home, I know first-hand the importance of a father’s role in his household.
Domestic violence and emotional manipulation were very much a part of my childhood. We lived in constant fear under my father who would come home from work quietly to catch us unaware. He was a very angry person and would find fault with my mom over the most trivial matters. Often times, my sibling and I would be awakened in the middle of the night by fierce quarrels and fights between my parents. Much of my childhood is a blank but there are a few unpleasant incidents that remain vivid in my mind. One such episode was witnessing my mother’s attempt to take my father’s life when I was 8 years old. Another was a heated exchange between my sibling and father that left the latter with 6 stitches on the head.
It is growing in such traumatic background that my sibling and I formed our perception of what and who a dad is – largely based on our exposure to our own father at home. Needless to say, it wasn’t a positive ‘picture’ that we brought into our respective marriage. A father’s influence on his children is indeed tremendous. Numerous research have shown a correlation between the type of father (or the lack of one) and the many societal problems and relational deficiency that it brings upon his children.
Little did I realize that for years, the fatherless heart in me was yearning to be loved, cherished and protected by her dad. The journey to finding healing and restoration of my fatherless heart has been a long and arduous one and it is still ‘Work-in-Progress’.
Although things have not changed much on my maiden home front, I am glad to have found my faith, hope and love in my own household. Seeing the way my husband relates to our children and the crucial role he plays in their lives has been a breath of fresh air for me! My husband’s commitment to love, protect and provide for our family has helped me a great deal in breaking free from negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity. I am very thankful.
Fathers, YOU play an extremely vital role in the lives of your family, especially in your children. Resolve today to be the best, not perfect, dad to your child(ren).
For the privacy of the family, we have maintained anonymity for this week’s blog post contributor.