Recently, a newlywed shared this with Focus on the Family, “It’s not that I have a marital problem or crisis, but I can imagine that we can learn so much just to have a couple walk through the seasons with us, sharing their lives with us…”
This is so true. My husband and I have been married for over two years and we are grateful to have wise couples to turn to in times of crisis (and we had a couple of that!). But I’m wondering if these crisis points could be averted if we had known better, if an older couple who had journeyed ahead of us helped us lay the necessary foundation.
I had a glimpse of how that may look like.
I have a mentor who took an interest in my life in my wandering (and wondering) young adulthood when I was searching for a life partner and calling. He (let’s call him OZ) and his wife have since relocated and we meet up only when they are back for a short visit or work.
Since the beginning of my relationship six years ago with my then-boyfriend-now-husband, I have a fear of making the wrong choice – Is he the right man? Are we compatible? What if I make the wrong choice? I shared with OZ and he had on many occasions affirmed our decision, including sharing the most unforgettable and timely message at our wedding.
While this mentoring relationship started with OZ , OZ’s wife has always been around to offer the much needed woman, “wifey” voice, especially when my husband and I were expecting our firstborn. The nine-month pregnancy was a breeze as compared to the over 30-hour labor and our three-day-old baby needing to be in ICU for five days. In that less-than-perfect start to parenthood, OZ and his wife came alongside us with hospital/home visits, practical advice, prayers and the much-needed hugs.
Recently in June, they made another trip back for our church camp. It must have been a random conversation (and I don’t know how OZ always manages to weave it in so seamlessly!) when he asked how married life has been since the baby came along. I shared about how my husband has been great in supporting and sharing the responsibilities. And OZ said, “You see, Vic, you made the right choice, J (my husband) is the right man, he is a good father.” It has been six years since I first shared with him my fear! Wow! Not only does he remember, he intentionally sows into my life and marriage at every opportunity.
I appreciate this privilege of having marriage mentoring.
J and I are assured in our married life ahead because we have a more matured couple who is willing to walk through the seasons with us – couple to couple, marriage to marriage.
– Post by Vicky Ho
Do you have a passion for the next generation of marriage? Focus on the Family will be conducting a Marriage Mentoring Training on Sep 14-15 to equip married couples to come alongside younger couples in their marriages by befriending, encouraging, and guiding them in their journey. More information here.