Right Decisions Lead Us to Right Feelings

October 29, 2013

Responding to recent discussions on infidelity, we need to recognize that no one is spared from temptations, but we all have the capability to control our impulses. While we know that women aren’t any more romantically compulsive than men, research has shown that men are more likely to be unfaithful to their wives. However, research also shows that even if men experience stronger sexual urges, they are just as able as women to control them.

The key is not to rely on your feelings to make decisions – right decisions lead us to right feelings, whereas feelings don’t always lead us to making right decisions.

Couples in long-lasting, satisfying marriages make a deliberate decision to remain in a long-term relationship. Appreciating the best traits in your spouse and complimenting him or her on it adds value to a marriage. So does intentional time together doing the things you love doing as a couple. It can be as simple as having ‘teh-tarik’ and ‘prata’ at the corner coffee shop if that’s what you enjoy.

Make a decision to set and retain healthy boundaries for your marriage and preserve an open and honest relationship with your spouse.

Discuss and set mutual goals for your marriage, plan for the future and cultivate shared interests. Then intentionally schedule specific times in your week to look at your progress together.

Keep your sex life healthy. In fact, getting along better with each other, enjoying each other’s company and communicating honestly will not only enrich your sex life but will also make others less attractive.

Keeping up a romantic relationship for life takes a conscious effort. And it is the responsibility of both spouses to maintain the excitement and enchantment of a marital relationship.

However, if you still feel your marriage has reached a dead-end even after doing everything according the book, visit a professional marital counselor together with your spouse to help you rise above the issues. Invest your time in building a resilient relationship with the one you’ve made a lifelong commitment to. It will be well worth your time and effort in the long run.

Lee Sue-Ann
Content Specialist (Marriage)
Focus on the Family Singapore


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