Since two and a half years ago, our domestic helper decided to go back to her home country and we felt the kids were older and we would be able to manage without one. Thankfully, with the help of my husband, and my giving the kids some responsibilities, we have all managed to pitch in. However, it hasn’t been as easy to go out on a date with my husband ever since. It was easier in the past as we could tuck our kids to bed and go out on a date at night while our helper was at home. Now we have to rely mainly on our parents for child minding.
Research says that 92% of couples who make dating a priority have increased satisfaction in their relationships. So we have been trying to arrange for our date night. It wasn’t easy in the beginning and we hardly had the chance as we weren’t intentional about it.
There was a night where we had to visit a friend in hospital. The kids were doing a sleepover at their grandparents’. After the hospital visit, we decided to make it a date night to catch a movie at Vivocity. The Mandarin movie we wanted to watch had already been running for quite a while and so we were certain that we could get tickets. I guess not being out for a date for a long time made us inexperienced in understanding the night life in Singapore. Tickets were sold out and so we decided to find a quiet place for coffee and dessert. We combed the entire Vivocity, but I guess “quiet” and “shopping centers” in Singapore are an oxymoron. Every affordable place was packed. So we decided to head home.
What I got out from that? Just spending time together, holding hands walking around. Yup! That’s a date too.
We wanted to attend a night conference together. Again, thankfully the kids had a sleepover at their grandparents’. We managed to attend the conference and had a very good time engaging in discussion about the conference after that.
Key note? Learning together – that’s a date too.
Saturday mornings give us a good two hours of couple time as the kids head off for their enrichment class. We get to have breakfast together as we search out places in the vicinity for good coffee. We talk about politics, faith, kids, challenges, hopes, dreams. And good coffee… did I mention that already? That’s a bonus.
Learning point – engaging in meaningful conversation and giving and having undivided attention. You guessed it. That’s a date too.
In retrospect, we can find pockets of time to spend with each other, but we do need to be intentional about it as well. You need to work at your marriage, and it will work for you!