Tag Archives: dating

I love Chinese New Year!

I love Chinese New Year. I mean, when can you have a holiday in Singapore and you eat grand meals, snack endlessly and still get paid for it?! That is, if you are unmarried.

I just enjoyed a wonderfully long Chinese New Year holiday, and my cash flow is back in the black. It’s even better now that I am dating. We have a whole new bunch of friends and relatives to collect “ang bao” ; I mean pay our respects to! It’s also during this time that we have the opportunity to learn about the extended family.

Her family loves the hustle and bustle of celebrating Chinese New Year. They will sing karaoke and play mahjong as they catch up with one another. The home becomes vibrant and full of energy amidst the activities and laughter. Relatives will gather and celebrate from house to house as each Uncle or Auntie opens their home for one gathering after another.

Hence why the GF enjoys the occasional quiet family dinner.

My family loves the reunion and the opportunity to relax during the holiday season. We visit one place, everyone gathers there and that’s it. Dinner seems to be the loudest activity before relatives settle into smaller groups to chat and catch up. By tradition, the “children” (anyone who isn’t married) would bring boxes of sparklers to light up in the playground as we relive our childhood days.

Hence why I like to visit Chinatown for the countdown and experience a livelier way of celebrating.

Even though we celebrate our Chinese New Year differently, some things remain the same. It is that time of the year whereby we face relatives whose love language is “asking questions”.

“When are you getting married? You aren’t getting any younger you know.”

“Have you proposed?”

“Have you applied for HDB yet?”

“You should marry this year because this is an auspicious year!” (This dear aunt told us exactly the same thing when we went visiting last year!)

I even have an aunt who keeps a prayer list of all the single cousins that they may find a suitable partner to marry. Including me, the score apparently stands at 7 married and 14 singles.

While we know that they have our best interests at heart, it can be taxing to meet them. Despite having the same questions shot at you over and over again, the reasons for asking those questions are different. For her, the family is concerned with the long waiting time for housing, age of the girl, and a belief that couples should not spend too much time thinking about getting married and just get married. For my family, it is a desire for grandchildren, to see me married so that they can move to a smaller place for retirement.

All in all, a fairly interesting Chinese New Year time spent with friends and family. Now, to see if I can bless more people with my lovely presence.  Yes. I really do love Chinese New Year!

Happy Lunar New Year everyone!

Fashion Foreword 2011!

It’s that time of the year when we take stock of the blessings we received in past year, and make resolutions for the next. I won’t bore you with all of them, but come 2011, I intend to take extra care in how I dress. This is to ensure my dignity remains intact when I’m out with my girlfriend – and hers too.

Apparently, dressing well is part of the requirement in the dating arena.

Chatting with my brother recently, I learned that once a person is in a relationship, it is inevitable that the wardrobe of one party (or both) will start to evolve. Upon some reflection, I realized how true this is.

I always believed it was acceptable to attend a wedding reception in a polo tee and jeans.

~ I now wear a short sleeved shirt and leather shoes.

I have a T-shirt from my secondary school years which was signed by a swimmer whom I idolized. It has not been washed since its biathlon days because I was worried the signature would come off.

~ I recently put it through the wash. Thankfully, the signature remains.

I kept the first windbreaker I bought when I was 16. It is black in color with a band of red and gold on the sleeves.

~ “O’ Biang!” (slang for something extremely old fashioned) was her first remark when she saw it.

Short of sleeping topless, the singlet is a man’s best friend for a good night’s sleep, especially on hot nights.

~ Should we get married, this will not longer be a part of my wardrobe. Guess I won’t be heading to the Metro Expo Sale to get a new singlet anytime soon.

I’m glad to say that some of these changes have ultimately resulted in a better “me”, or at least a more presentable one. At least I can rest assured the fashion police will not be hot on my heels. Bring on the new year!

Happy New Year everyone!

Is my windbreaker really that o'biang?

Food and conversation

It’s always great to hear a compliment, especially from the person you love. I’m thrilled when my girlfriend compliments me, like the other day when she exclaimed, ““I’VE NEVER SEEN SUCH INTENSE CONCENTRATION!” However, I’m not sure if this was really meant as a compliment since the statement was actually referring to my eating habits.

I don’t know about you, but I love to eat. I’m not fussy, except when it comes to seafood. The moment my stomach growls, my mind is immediately filled with thoughts of food. I do not pay attention to my surroundings. Once the plate is placed in front of me, I get tunnel vision. When I dig in, I Dig In.

Everything around me fades into the background, and unless my companions somehow grab my attention, their words fall on deaf ears. It’s food first, talk second. This is actually a good practice since my parents taught me to never talk with my mouth full. I will not speak until every tiny morsel is wiped clean from my plate.

Many of you may think that since I am not talking, I must be good at listening. This is true! I listen to my thoughts – I should stop grinding my teeth when I chew; I should cut more carbohydrates from my meal, etc. Then, all thoughts of weight-control magically disappear when I take another spoonful of rice dripping with meat gravy. That’s why I have a love-hate relationship with my food.

Now, having a human relationship makes some things more challenging. I want to eat, but I also want a meaningful conversation with my girlfriend. My brain keeps switching between both objects of affection. I have to intentionally pause to talk, listen, then take my next bite. This can pose a challenge since my girlfriend prefers a conversation where both parties are looking into each other’s eyes. I have tried doing that but you just can’t serve two masters in the same space and time. I have to give what is due to my girlfriend and what is due to my food.

So what is my solution? Easy. Start with small talk before the food is served and go deeper after I have licked my plate clean. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Once the bulge at my belt line is satisfied, I become a more effective listener.

Hen’s party

My girlfriends threw me a Hen’s party last weekend. I was blindfolded and ‘abducted’ to a nice hotel suite. It was such a splendid time spent with these friends as they prepared me for the next phase in life – marriage.

When they removed my blindfold, I was surrounded by my friends whom I’ve known for decades, some I’ve known better in the recent years. I was adorned with a tiara, a sash, with a wand in my left hand, and a helium balloon in my right. I was told that I was the ‘princess for the day’, and I didn’t have to lift a finger to do anything – if I’ll do as they say.

We spent the afternoon dipping in the pool and I was educated about how to prepare for the wedding night, and laughed and giggled in girly ways. We then proceeded to a yummy Peranakan dinner and the girls were quizzed on how well they knew the bride. We even had a sing-along session in our room and belted out Disney love songs, which up till now, were only heard in the shower.

But the best part was the time of affirmation we had. With a number of couples getting married in our youth group this year, we’ve seen an emerging tradition where the close friends of the bride-to-be get together to tell her the good things they see in her and the soon-to-be-wed couple.

So that night we all sat around and my friends shared about the strengths they’ve seen in me and in the relationship with my husband-to-be. They showed their appreciation of the friendships that I share with them; they affirmed how we can make a bigger difference in our society as a couple. There were tears, there were hugs, and I got to make each girlfriend wear the tiara and wave the wand when it was their turn to share. The time spent was so precious to me, and if there was a “Courage Tank” in us, it was definitely filled to the brim that night ! It made me so hopeful and encouraged about this huge step I am about to make. I am so privileged to have such a moment, and I am so thankful for these beautiful women in my life, whom I know will celebrate in good times as well as be there for me, when married life gets tough.

A Hen’s party can actually be so meaningful and make a huge difference in the life of the bride-to-be. Attended a Hen’s party lately? Tell me what you did!